Untamed-Desires

now on wordpress

2007-01-01T02:42:00.000-08:00

untamed desires is available at blogger no more!

this blog has shifted...

please turn to

www.untameddesires.wordpress.com

duboya mujhko 'hoanay' ne! mei na hoti tou kya hota?

2006-12-06T09:11:00.000-08:00

i was ready to tell
the story of my life
but the ripple of tears
and the agony of my heart
wouldn't let me

i began to stutter
saying a word here and there
and all along i felt as tender as a crystal
ready to be shattered

in this stormy sea we call life
all the big ships, they come apart
board by board
how can i survive
riding a lonely
little boat
with no oars
and no arms

my boat did finally break
by the waves
and i broke free
as i tied myself
to a single board

though the panic is gone
i am now offended!
why should i be so helpless?
rising with one wave
and falling with the next
i don't know
if i am nonexisting
while i exist...
but i know for sure
when i am,
i am not!
but when i am not,
then i am!

since in this world
i have many times
like my own imagination,
died
and been born again

that is why
after a long agonizing life
as a hunter,
i finally let go
and got hunted down
and became free

credits probably go to Moulana Rumi (not sure!)

thoughtstop : actions speak louder than words

2006-11-25T08:42:00.000-08:00

A wonderfully cloudy day, a light crisp breeze and a whole lot of lush green grass under her feet .... a scenario so perfect that in other circumstances she would have loved it.

But here she is, not knowing why did she ever agree to be there at all ... a situation so utterly uncomfortable for her and she knew this was how it would be. Still she agreed, maybe to put an end to his endless complaints of how she never gave him enough time or importance.

They talk. No, he does. She pretends to be clinging to every word of his. A mask of faked interest to which he is ignorant. Its better this way, she thinks.

And then he decides to take a walk. Her hands grow cold and a chill runs up and down her spine. Her sixth sense tells her to run away but she knows she cant. So she keeps walking, dreading the moment he asks her something to which she will have no answer.

The moment comes ... and goes. The silent lingers. He is probably being very much a gentleman and waiting for her answer very patiently. Words fail her. No, he says; he needs an answer then and there. Cannot wait, you had ample time to think.

And for just one instant, she closes her eyes and asks God for help. She knows the answer but no courage to spell it out to him.

When she opens her eyes, she does not see his questioning eyes as she had imagined she would. Instead she hears him say to her :

'mera khayal tha keh ab tak hum saath chal rahay hei ek rastay per. mei ne dhyaan hi nai diya aur tumne rasta hi badal lia?'

She turns in the direction of his voice and realizes that what had seemed an instant to her, was probably a minute of walking in a direction so further away from him that they were now standing far apart. She decides to wait for him to come over and they walk again.

'chalo mei tumko wapis ghar drop kardoon', he says. She looks at him with a blank expression.

'kuch nai. mujhe bilkul mehsoos nai horaha hei keh hum saath chal rahay hei'.

He got the answer without her saying any words.

Ignorant, Arrogant and a poor memory

2006-11-17T08:35:00.000-08:00

They had been taking my interview for the last 30 minutes. Big deal? Not really....they seemed to have all the time in the world and did not really care that it was Jumma time, that alot of the guys still needed to be interviewed and that it had already been more than 2 hours of waiting time before even my name was called up. Seemed pretty unfair to the candidates prolly because i was one of them but oh well!

It went a fairly good interview and i suppose i gave almost all the right answers (if there is any such thing!!). As the interview came to a close, i popped up the wrong question :S i dared to ask the two (one male, the other female) their names and what they taught at the place. It wasnt a big deal as far as i knew but the reaction i got from the mister xyz was surprising.

me : may i know ur names please? (and i did say it in the most respecting manner!)

xyz : *looks up with a shocked expression* u dont know us?

me : *blank... are these really really famous ppl?*

xyz : didnt u buy the prospectus? didnt u go through it?

me : i did both

xyz : and u still dont know who v r? *takes out the grade sheet again and i feel like killing myself for getting my ownself into trouble*...... thats quite unflattering. prospectus mei sabka naam designation and pictures hei.

me : i know sir, but i also believe there were almost a 100 intros for the faculty. i find it hard to imagine knowing them all. i just know a few by name.

xyz : it shows u r ignorant, arrogant and u have a very bad memory.

me : * i sit back on the seat without invitation because now hes giving me the irks cmmenting like this* and how does it prove all these qualities in me? *asking him and then looking at the lady hoping for some response from her*

xyz : u probably didnt bother through the prospectus thinking ur times too precious shows u r ignorant. if u did, still u were arrogant enough to just note the names of the president and higher-ups here *too bad i felt like telling him that they are both my relavtives but bit my tongue because of his already unbelievable remarks about me* and further more, even if we suppose u did read all about our faculty, u seem unable to match names and faces and remember either of them at all....shows clear signs of a bad memory.

me : *blank and blank and blank*..... right, so i apologize for such an inadequate question :)

xyz : apne aur kabhi interview diya hei kya ever? did u ask such a ridiculous question ever?

me : uhhh never felt the need sir. they were nice enough to introduce themselves or they had name-plates

the lady : actually u r right. we should have those here. i am surprised nobody else asked. i dont mind her question at all. its a very appropriate question. * blank look on her face* y do u wanna know?

me : *oh craaaaaaaaaaaaap wat now :S* just so i can remember and also bcos everyones gonna ask kisne lia interview and also bcos my dad taught me that u shud give ur name and ask the same. its proper etiquettes he says.

lady : theek theek i do agree. i am so and so and he is so and so...

me : thank u :) * and out i go!*

Was i wrong in asking? Even if i was, i definitely dont agree to his replies.
Being the Head of Faculty of a very reputable educational institute must not get to your head. Atleast not in my opinion. I give a damn if i dont get through to the merit list.

Delayed and/or Denied

2006-11-11T09:57:00.000-08:00

Justice delayed, is justice denied.
....................................
....................................
....................................
and what about Dreams?

Got the chance to hear the really nice ghazal from the drama series ' tum kaisi muhabbat kartay ho'. Its been sung marvellously and although the dramas themselves are a wee bit too much on the tragic side, i just simply had to watch one of the episodes and write down the lyrics.... and if ever someone asked me how i spend my life, this is all the words that would sum up everything that i am!

Tum kaisi Mohabbat karte ho?

Tum jahan pe beth ke jaate ho

Jis cheez ko haath lagate ho

Main wahin pe bethi rehti hoon

Us cheez ko chooti rehti hoon

Main aisi Mohabbat karti hoon

Tum kaisi Mohabbat karte ho?

Tum jis se hans ker milte ho

Main us ko dost banati hoon

Tum jis raaste per chalte ho

Main us raaste per aati jaati hoon

Main aisi Mohabbat karti hoon

Tum kaisi Mohabbat karte ho?

Kuch khuwab saja ker ankhon main

Palkon se moti chunti hoon

Tum se milne julne ke

Kitne hi bahane rakhti hoon

Main aisi Mohabbat karti hoon

Tum kaisi Mohabbat karte ho?

back to blogging?

2006-09-26T10:20:00.000-07:00

back on blogworld? maybe :S not so sure n hence i duno if i shud b happy or not :( actually, im pretty dheet n hence, i shalllllllllllllllllll b happy!!! atleast im able to post for now so, yesh! me happy *grin* :D

blog-world seems all strange somehow. mainly because i was so used to the large screen n this new one is a chota sa chickoo in comparison. also, all the blogger beta versions r unaccessible for reasons unknown. n then again, my own blog seems to be dancing on its own tune ahhhhhhhhhhhh i cant see none of the customizations i had done here. i have to redo all the links with a 'pkblogs.com' thingy n feel like strangling the people who banned blogger in pakiland. but wait wait....im still able to blog n hence, im grinning heheh yaaaaa im super duper dheet.

rozay have been kinda hard with the heat wave but Alhumdolillah no power outages unlike at MystaKool's place. i totally skipped the first sehri cos i was too sleepy but the morning after, my dad gave me such glaring looks that i knew i ws 'fixed' for the whole month to b outta bed n doing something in the kitchen.(i can run here n there appear busy n do nothing muahahaha) honestly though, i have no idea wat the fuss is!! y cant u just have some cereal n water or milk n boiled eggs n be done? why the parathay n saalans n wat nots that some ppl eat !! my momsy is totally so nice to make parathay for my bhais n dad but she'll b done good in a week n my turn to make the sehri will come n then NO PARATHAY. i am so not sharmindah that i dont do that :D tea is fine for me. water namaz n back to sleeeeeeeeeep.n thats for everybody!!

tons of all-u-can-eat deals out here for iftari but everyones wanting to go have a party on my bday... naaaaaaye i'll cook sth n take all the money for myself hehe ... for today i made chicken biryani n it turned out hellla goooooood yayyyyy

ramadan is supposed to b all about ibadah n here, im not scoring too well :( not good i know but the tv keeps me hooked up with Zakir Naik's totally cool programs n oooooooooooooh how i love the nasheeds they play by Zain Bhikiya. i cudnt get any of his cassettes which is quite strange but im still looking out for it. One of the channels plays the Qaseedah Burdah with the wordings n i ws very very glad abt it since i wanna learn atleast some of it InshaAllah. everything apart, i totally love how ramadan brings us all together on the table at a set time. this is how things shud b in normal life n not an exclusive once-a-year kinda thingy. sad! n i love the lil kiddies so happy with iftari time even though they werent even fasting hehe its just something so cute n Allah SWT has done all Muslims a favor in this way that atleast in ramadan v do stick n sit together :)

sooooooooooooooooo okay i need to work on tons of stuff in life n i will share it all as much as is possible. do pray i get a pc n a net connection at home so i can bounce back to the blog-world hehe

i totally love this place, n tons of thanx to everyone who visit this crazy world of mine :)

A very HAPPY n BLESSED RAMADAN to all! do remember in prayers pls.

tumse chalti rahay ye rah..yunhi acha hei

2006-09-13T03:15:00.000-07:00

After having extending my DSL till 15th, i have now been told to dismantle the pc-table n everything related put it in a box n make it ready to go :( Nothing good in here because i so preferred spending some time online after each tiring day of shopping,packing,visits to the bank and even having to give enough time to my cosins who have come over from Florida and DC.
So now, the pc is sitting flat on the floor and im happy typing away until momsy catches me not sleeping :D *hope not!!* I have no idea if im gonna b blogging or reading all u wonderful people's comments for quite sometime becuase i prefer not to login from my aunt's place. This blog is a secret i share with people who might not even know my real name; n yet its hidden from my own immediate family lols...probably thats y im still alive! ..

Going through my old mails, i found this long forgotten piece by Faiz..signing out from the blog till tomorrow, the day after or even the next month. Enjoy..

Yaad ki raahguzaar – jis pe isi soorat se

Muddatain beet gai hain tumhain chaltay chaltay

Khatm ho jaye jo – do chaar qadam aur chalo

Moar parta hai jahan dasht-e-faramoshi ka

Jis se aagay na koi mai hoon, na koi tum ho

Saans thaamay hain nigaahain – keh na jaanay kis dam

Tum palat aao, guzar jao, ya murr kar dekho

Garche waaqif hain nigaahain – keh yeh sub dhoka hai

Gar kaheen tum se hum-aghosh hui phir se nazar

Phoot niklay gi waheen aur koi raahguzar

Phir usi tarha jahan hoga maqabil paiham

Saaya-e-zulf ka, aur jumbish-e-bazu ka safar

Doosri baat bhi jhooti hai keh dil jaanta hai

Yaan koi moar, koi dasht, koi ghaat nahi

Jiske parday mai mera maah-e-rawaan doob sakay

Tum se chalti rahay yeh raah – yunhi achha hai

Tum ne murr kar bhi na dekaha – to koi baat nahi

Seeking HIS mercy

2006-09-10T01:52:00.000-07:00

No deafening fire-crackers i heard here, which was quite unlike the happening in Karachi. Nevertheless, i was grateful to atleast know it was Shab-e-Baraat. Its something taken so granted back home to know such nights weeks in advnace but here v get tipped off only around maghrib or maybe its our own ignorance :S

The dinner that night was at someone's place and for once we were on time [:D] which meant ofcourse, that we left lil bro to come home walking after his job and stay home and miss the party hehe. Interesting discussions came up at dinner and when the topics turned into religious debates i took my exit. Asking all the kids to say their prayers before they fall asleep got me huge stares. Great just great!! They knew they had to pray something, but the books were in Urdu and the internet gave only process of reading salat-ul-tasbeeh. So i made the effort of translating the specific prayers for them and writing them down. And as i was doing so, i realized...

I was only able to guide them because for all the years past, I can remember how strict my dad was about properly doing all the prayers. If we complained, he would make us read even more nafils. Yawning meant making tea for everybody and going back to reading dua'a all over again.Its not the fault of these amreekan kids that they know nothing..its their parents fault. Or maybe the busy life. Or whoever or whatever...I felt proud that my lil bro could read salat-ul-tasbeeh on his own. At his age of 17, its nothing to be proud of [:S] but in comparison to the other kids, I felt relieved.

And when i bowed down to Allah SWT, I had yet one more reason to be thankful. To thank HIM for givng me a dad who has instilled in us the proper religious values. Thank you dad and thank you Allah! Atleast I know if I am wrong in something, I am at fault and I am to be blamed. Period! For everything i complain about, I am an ungrateful person. And yet HE says that if I ask forgiveness HE shall give it. Again and again I may err, because I am human. But I will learn...make that effort to learn, to ask forgiveness, to understand. Even a cupful of mercy from HIS sea of Divine mercy shall be enough for me.

I am You,

You Am I,

The Romance Flows …..

Like a stream of honey from God’s feet ……

My world is filled with failures …………

But I am seeing,

God making honey

Out of these failures………

In my utter ignorance

I am calling it as failures….

But not before believing that one day

I will reach a field

which is beyond

Success and failures………

(ameen)

Listen..

2006-09-04T02:21:00.000-07:00

Duno wat to write about...everything that could be blogged, has already been said for now. For everything left unsaid....

If
in the course of a conversation
gaps of silence begin to occur,
spoken words turn silent;
therefore, my eloquent friend,
let’s carefully listen
to this silence.

-Parveen Shakir

thoughtstop : what are tears worth?

2006-08-30T12:22:00.000-07:00

Nobody in this world is worth your tears...

If they are, they wont make you cry!

Stupid person who said this...u cry for everyone you care about and who are worthy of being cared and being cried over... *atleast i think so !*

"the one who loves you will make you weep" - kinda negates the above quote duznt it?

"tears are safety valves of the heart when too much pressure is applied on it" - yeah yes!

"i love walking in the rain- nobody knows im crying" - is that y i love the rain?

"tears are words the heart cant express" - yeah..i cant use too many words!!

do u agree?
disagree?
spam this place with ur thoughts :)

DSL? no more!!!

2006-08-28T00:46:00.000-07:00

Its not fun choosing between two options, is it? I have to cancel my DSL connection by next week or else, pay 35 bucks for the whole month of September. It wouldnt be very unfair, but i can use DSL only till about the 12th of September; after that, we shall be moving out of this apartment. Hence, next week shall be the last time i get to use this pc n connection.

Moving!! goshh i never knew it was this darn difficult. Even though Sacramento never even came close to being a 'home', it was still where we lived. But this little apartment of ours was totally my heaven! I just loved living at the Orchard's and considered it as God's mercy on moi! (even though i call it a murghi ka darba lols) I feel soooooooooo sad to have to move out. Plus, i am very lazy. I cant seem to realize there's only 2 weeks left till the moving out and theres plenty much to do. The kitchen, momsy has already scrubbed. She even cleaned the cabinets and all. Nims went ahead and cleaned her part of the closet... but whats the use!! Clean the cabinets and dump everything on the floor blaaah!

All i have done is make sure the working people dont go hungry haha... i make them sandwiches twice a day, sometimes tea (if i wanna have it too :D ). But i have done everything related to the banks and the bills and the dues and overdues and what nots!! Paperwork alone is enough to drive a calm dont-care person like me crazy :S My bhai has left a whole ton of past-due credit bills and checks that need to be deposited asap. Stupid ATT is charging $99 bucks because of premature contract termination. And to think that the contract officially becomes effective on September 15th, the day v move out of here! Cingular is gonna charge $300 bucks for the same reason. Thank lord that SMUD has spared us termination fee. Probably the apartment lady is gonna have her field day charging us for this and that and keep the whole $500 security deposit..... in short, dear dad, i hereby claim u possibly bankrupt! Who knew moving was this much hassle and kharchaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Wayyyyyyyyyyy too much stuff to shift, not enough time, too much money wasted.... n i feel like moping cos I shall b living without the internet by next week!! ohhhh not so soon :(

I seriously wanna get a garage sale organized and get rid of most of the stuff but the summer heat is gonna fry my brain duh! Anyone needs a Cingular connection? take mine puhlease. It's only $55/mth for 2 lines n 500 mins n its only a one year contract...im prepared to give up the motorola camera phone and give u the first month free....just take it!!

thoughtstop : Whats in a name?

2006-08-24T02:16:00.000-07:00

Knowing him, being with him and having him all for herself; that was all that mattered to her. He had never told her enough and she had never asked for more. It really didnt matter to her probably because she had never stopped to think and question anything about him. Everything he said, she accepted it. Even the name he told her, she used it. But there were so many gaps in all that he said. She could hear him responding to a different name, other than the one he had told her. Some more confusing mix-ups as well. She took the hints, the bits and pieces of his real self but never asked him directly.

Time went by and the questions began to pop-up within her...the quest to know him. The real him. She sat down and prayed for his trust in her. Enough trust to make him tell her everything he had hidden. The prayers were not answered and she felt often irritated and bewildered by her own doubts. The person who made her feel complete, so happy, so energized..why doubt him?

'Whats in a name?', she asked herself. 'I know his identity, that should be enough. After all, that is what matters isn't it? A rose is rose because of its looks and n0t because of it's name.' Foolish lullabys she sang to herself, trying to put doubts to sleep.

Time flew by. The questions remained and still they were together. He, hiding himself behind a veil and she, content with all that showed despite the veil.

One day, all of a sudden, she got the name. His real name. It felt strange now. All along she had known his name and yet had ignored to use it or ask why he did not trust her enough because it didnt matter to her, she thought. How wrong she was! The name had mattered so much but what mattered most was the distance that would be created between them if she asked..she had ignored everything to cling on to him only.

Once again, she sat down to pray; asking god to not take him away from her but she needed the truth from him. A heart so full of fear, a voice full of hope and eyes that wouldnt leave his for even a split second, she braved the question. He got tensed, dark shadows clouding into his eyes, his mouth forming a thin line as he struggled to keep up with her glare. The silence was dreadful for both of them. She hoped he would say something, anything...already, she was regretting the questioning. Whats in a name? again and again she asked herself. Moments passed and she went away because he didnt even look into her eyes anymore. Maybe all he loved her for, was the fact that she had never questioned anything about him. Now, he knew things would never be the same and she felt the feeling sinking her into deep depression.

Outside, someone came and asked her about him; using his real name. Suddenly, she realized that this was how the world knew him. They all knew everything about him, by name and by identity. It didn't matter how she knew him. A rose is a rose no matter what name u call it, she remembered. No. She had never seen anyone call a rose, anything but a rose. Not jasmine, not tulip, not lily..it was always a rose.

Her reflection in the mirror smirked at the tears in her eyes. Everything was in the name. The identitiy belonged to the name. She had known a part of his existence only. Foolish girl. More tears followed, more sleepless nights but she did not regret asking. Somehow, the candle of hope had probably managed to survive the merciless winds. As more time went by, she felt alive no more.

Were her prayers ignored once again? Had the candle of hope finally been blown away?

Dua'a

2006-08-20T04:43:00.000-07:00

026.083 -O my Lord! bestow wisdom on me,and join me with the righteous;
026.085 -And place me among the inheritors of the Garden of Delight, (THE HOLY QURAN) - Ameen

My Lord! I seek refuge in Thee from suggestions of the evil ones, And I seek refuge in Thee, my Lord, lest they be present with me, Ameen (Al-Muminun 23, 97-98 ~ The Holy Qur'an)

Our Lord! Pour out on us patience and constancy, and make us die as those who have surrendered themselves unto You. (7:126) - Ameen

i need my zZzZzZzZ's

2006-08-19T02:05:00.000-07:00

Between thursday and friday, i managed 4 hours of sleep only ; thanx to the rains in Karachi that kept all my friends away from work/univ and instead on msn :D It really doesn't happen a whole lot so i chatted the night away.

I got a chance to talk with Sobs my dear dear gal and v had tons of stories to share - guys, ofcourse!!;) and then some more catching up to do on gossips and the wedding season...till v started the dreaded diet talk. oooh boy that is NOT my favorite topic. Sobs has apparently lost tons of weight by starving. Andi thought to myself : shit! i cant starve! i can never go thin. no wait, i'll start from today..i'll have a good breakfast of eggs n bread n butter n tea n then i'll start starving yaaah!i cud hear dances gng on somewhere inside me la la la! :D

By 10 friday morning, my sis took over the pc n i went to sleep, bhai ws sick n wanted to talk to me so no sleep :S that got me a headache n i was almost lost in dreamworld when the darn phone rang and rang...

me - hello? *pretending to b wide awake*
may - salamz..r u ready yet? want me to pick u up on the way?
me - oh ya lemme ask mom
*asking momsy as to where i was supposed to go? *dont sleep!!* blink*
momsy - Gk said appointment was at 6
me - *now wide awake* SIX? the place closes at FOUR! WTF!! amiiiiiiiiiiiiii :@
may - hello? see u in an hour, yes?
me - dont pick me, i'll b there with nims at 12.bye

11-30 i wash my face n stare at my upside down closet n ofcourse, eerything needs to b washed, ironed this or that ahhh! grab a tank top throw white informal suit over it n im all ready . Tell nims to come along n v'r at the door when..

mom - blue tank top k saath ye pink purse? u have a blue one na! seldom u dress up n even then u'r a rainbow(?)
me - momsy! i wanted to go in my PJs but i cudnt..how sad na?..*i see the horrified look on her face n walk out*

By 12 at Peeta's place n no sign of may.Go inside and may is already into her denting painting being done...wait and chat..my turn..no, nims wants to go first...my turn finally! i show Peeta my old pic lols..she laughs n says okay :) get my brows done..let's go home? no..nims thinks she needs more fixing :S okay...done? yeah lets go..no wait! if nims can have a gala time why not moi? do ur wonders Peeta :D..done? pay up time.... takes us sisters 15 mins of u-give,no-u-give glares to cough up 24 dollars..

Finally, home and breakfast! Everything i dreamt of ahhh heaven! Can i sleep? JUMMA! namaz parho errr ya okies...can i sleep now? no, wash the dishes, fix up some kitchen stuff, check the food bla bla..

All done! yayyy...sweet dreams here i come!

Now, i can't sleep :S
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Four hours of sleep n up again. Another namaz, the friday recitation of the certain Quranic Chapters...

GK coming for tea..bringing the jewllery from Zales. If i like it i WILL keep it woohhoooo atleast something good is happening:D

Oh, and Peeta did a marvellous job on all three of us. Tons of hugs for that sweet chubby lady :)

The Graduation party coming up tomorrow...if there's a singing competition, me n nims have decided to sing some totally Paki national songs (aaye watan k sajeeley jawanon wud b nice lols) and maybe if AJS gives us his cellphone, i'll put up the national anthem ringtone n force evryone to stand up in respect...

the cost of singing the anthem ? : 10 minutes of our croaking voices
the cost of getting the ringtone from AJS? : $10 or maybe $11
the horror of the audience ? : ABSOLUTELY PRICELESS!!!

take that!! all u paki-bashers :D muhahahahaha

innocent n funny :)

2006-08-16T03:27:00.000-07:00

i remember telling my seven yr. old niece a story abt how a little girl was planning something over the phone and her stepmom overheard and punished her."serves her right for being stupid"she said, "why didn't she send an email?"

*from a fwded email*

book week @ blogworld?

2006-08-11T04:16:00.000-07:00

Was it my imagination,or was it really supposed to be something of a book-blog week ? Nobody reads books kya????????????????????? Why hasn't anyone except 2 bloggers posted any stuff :@ baaaaaaaddddddddd

I'm making a trip to the library this weekend. Hope to find something worthwhile to read... n i'll put up the meme and tag all of u :P my list of books i love, would be Enid Blyton's books (fairytale world) and Nancy Drew and Hardy boys (detective stories) and and Charles Dickens ones; then books by the Bronte sisters and Danielle Steel, John Gray (Mars n Venus series) and Chicken Soup series and more! Then came along 'She's the One' by Kelly. This one's amazingly inspiring and life-changing and its a window into the world of relationships from women's point of view. (so much for it being a men's world hehe) Must have read plenty many in between too but i cant remember all names.Wuthering Heights is worth mentioning and Lioness by Barabara Cartland and Woman of Substance by B.Taylor

The only good book i'v read in the past year was 'Memoirs of a Geisha' and loved it because of it being a woven fantasy of the real world and dreamnland. My cousin gave me his book 'Society' and it made me hate USA all the more :S Since he's so much of a 'im-AMREEEEEEKANN now', i duno y he bought that book but it helped me bring down his Pledge of Allience down to the ground woohooo!! take that Bhai :P ofcourse, i cudnt possibly miss the chance of humiliating US-society :D

Unfortunately though, i have not read very many Urdu books. Khuda ki basti, Raja Gidh, Ujala, Shama, Mere khwab rezah rezah,Angoothi ki museebat,Koela are probably the only ones i read. None among my friends read books let alone urdu ones which is sad very very sad.

Actually, i think i just love the fairytale stories :D All full of pixie dust and magic and goblins hehe(thats the kid in me talking ;)). None of the serious stuff ever brings a smile on my face as does all my bachpan wali story-books and the adventures of the Famous Five or that of Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn! Even Sherlock Holmes i'd prefer after a double dose of Sidney Sheldon. Itna crap in this life na, books should be entertaining and relaxing and fun and..... i can go on and on here :D

And yes, to anyone bothered by fairytales => grow up, i shall NOT!!!!!

M.D. Digger Music Video

2006-08-10T04:18:00.000-07:00

From Geoge Washington Univ. MSA...

She take my money
While I'm in residency
She's a trifling Hijabi
She's an M.D. Digger
Way out of line
All set on me...

I ain't saying you an M.D. Digger
But you aint messin' with no broke brothers
I ain't saying you a J.D. Digger
But you aint messin' with no broke brothers
gaze down sister...

I got a random poke from a DC sister
The next thing I know she's added me to friendster
She said mashAllah your beard is so nice
The next thing I know she wants to be my wife
Now a warning to my brothers all premed prelaw
First she wants iftars, then she wants some cars
Took her friends to a movie and she made me pay
If you messin' w/ this sister then you better have prayed

(Chorus)

30 days...she ate all my dates for all those 30 days
Somebody stole my lota from my personal space
Somebody stole my prayer rug while I pray
Then she ate the ladoo that my Ami made

Now I aint saying you a M.D. digger but you got needs
Much like us brothers we need ESPN
Don't forget about those religion majors
They got no bling but they can write your Nasr papers
So look for all bros there are so many times
I know they're cooler bros and yea that's nice
They have thicker beards and they pray all five
On MSA Board and they stay all fly
But you can stay while he gives Dawah talks
Then he'll ditch for a Pita and an Xbox

(Chorus)

dil-e-mann musafir-e-mann (by faiz)

2006-08-09T05:28:00.003-07:00

DIL-E-MANN MUSAAFIR-E-MANN

mere dil mere musaafir
huaa phir se hukm saadir
ke vatan badar hon ham tum
de.n galii galii sadaayen
kare.n rukh nagar nagar kaa

ke suraagh koii paaye.n
kisii yaar-e-naamaabar kaa
har ek ajanabii se puuchhe.n
jo pataa thaa apane ghar kaa

sar-e-kuu-e-naashanaayaa.n
hame.n din se raat karnaa
kabhii is se baat karnaa
kabhii us se baat karnaa

tumhe.n kyaa kahuu.n ke kyaa hai

shab-e-gham burii balaa hai
hame.n ye bhii thaa ghanimat
jo koii shumaar hotaa
hame.n
kyaa buraa thaa maranaa
agar ek baar hotaa

Just got an email from my dad. He's @ HongKong airport enjoying some free massage and food and all at the lounge and says he's missing us all. A CC of that mail was sent to my other sibbs. One of my brothers has also gone back to Khi with my dad. This little guy had pledged never to leave the US soil and had worked really hard to get into the flow of things here. Surprise surprise!! hes the one who took off....leaving behind... ME :( It seems that the more i want to go back, the more things keep me from doing so.

My sis, nims is really mad @ me for not fighting enough about going back. I could have, but this time im done dead. Three times in the past year i have had my ticket from SanFransicso to Karachi and all three times they were cancelled. Two times my mom went back with my dad and this time my bhai. I think i'll just let nims shout@ me and temme how 'weak' i'v gone. :) This time, nims , go ahead and fight the fight...

With the two men out, this place will go back into mayhem again. Do this andthat and just too much paperwork for me to do. Bank stuff which i am barely able to understand. And if not me, then who will do it :(
All this stuff is getting to me again and im back to my horrible habbit of staying up all night just to avoid everyone in the daytime.... I think till now I had managed to live just fine but the future is not even a crossroad of choices for me to pick from, its a dead end. I wish not to be alive at this very moment. If only i had someplace to run away to...

And despite all this piece of crap that I am, some people are nice to me; they call me up for hours at a stretch, talk on the net, tease me an awful lot about karachi and others just peep into the windows of my dreams :) Each one of them is special to me and im glad to have crossed paths with them even if for the briefest of moments.

Dear BOSS...

2006-08-07T03:56:00.000-07:00

Certified that Mr./Miss _________________ , working in your organization, is suffering from 'time-bound' illness. Due to this, he/she will NOT be able to work more than 8 hours a day and 5 days a week.

Any attempt to stretch beyond this timing will lead to severe health problems. The losses to the company due to medical reimbursements will be far more compared to the gains made by stretching beyond 8 hours.

It is also warned to keep my patient away from any kind of shocking news such as"Come over weekend..", "Let's work on holiday..", "Leave cannot be granted.."
etc. which can directly lead to heart strokes.

In view of the above, it is strongly recommended to adjust your deadlines in
accordance with the convenience of my patient.
Sd/-
Dr.

my crazy advice!

2006-08-04T15:03:00.000-07:00

when the world gets bitchy to u,

it means u'v finally accomplished

enough to make them hate u!!

hurray for that achievement ;)

meanie ME!!

2006-08-02T04:49:00.001-07:00

i wanted to have ice-cream
n baskin robbins in CH didnt have the $1 tuesday deal!

im sleepy but cant sleep

nets gone dead..no IMs connecting

i skipped dinner :( bad thing to do! now i got hunger pangs

i wanna read some nice book...the library has a really
stupid collection

desi bazar had no new movies

i wana have biryaniiiii n rain! loooooots of rain chaiay

i wanna b a kid n pout n shout n throw things around

i just wana complain about everything!
(and get away with doing all that crap)

im in my complain mode..welcome to the 'MEANIE ME'

Disclaimer :
this image is how i FEEL like ..not LOOK like it dahhhhh
ya ya..who gives a damn even if it really was me :S
but its NOT!

the Moto diet!

2006-07-29T04:12:00.000-07:00

My cosin Ali has always been a naughty n nice kid. And he loves pulling tricks on his beloved mama. His mom, (my khala GK) is a little bit on the healthy side and keeps on running from one crash to another even though none of them really work :S

So thie time Ali told his mom that theres a cool new cell-phone doing the rounds and he plans to buy it for her because it comes with a 'weight-sensor'. Khala being a non-techie was quite surprised and it ofcourse involved something with weight so couldnt she be hehe...so he goes on to tell her

Ali : you know mama, its got weight-sensors so u dont need a weighing machine

GK : haaye Ali sachi? i ws thinking of buying a weighing machine but its so expensive even in Sears! So tell me more about it, does it have a diet chart?

Ali : no mama with this gadget u need nothing like those dumb stuff. You can keep track of your dieting success everytime people call

GK has her eyes open wide in amazement now

Ali : see mama everytime any one calls on your cellphone, the phone will use its sensor and will speak out if u'v lost enough weight! that way u can keep minute by minute track of your weight loss

GK : kidher mileyga bachay? is it expensive? does it work?

Ali : yeah its not very expensive but i borrowed it from Riz chachoo for a couple of weeks for you to try it. *hands the motorazr to his mom*

GK : wow its all nice and shiny. On hei keh nahi? can i try it now?

Ali : Its on. I'll call from the home phone and lets see..

...the motorazr vibrates and theres a voice that says 'hello Moto'!!

GK : WTF!! ye kya badtameezi hei...haawe am i really so fat? sachi?? *all sad face, speaking to herself* kal se im going on the cabbage diet next week i'll see how it calls me MOTO again

Ali : okies good luck mama i lov u (goes outside and high-fives his brother)

a week later, the poor lady has lost a pound and hates the phone because it keeps greeting her as 'Hello Moto' everytime someone calls!

If v keep our mouths shut for another week, the brothers have promised a treat @ round-table :D all v have to do is not tell her that the 'Hello Moto' is a ringtone and will keep calling her the same until she changes it. Also, the Motorazr is a gift to her from her kids and they think this will help her stick to the dieting.

The face she makes and the way she curses the weight-sensor everytime she hears the tone is just so hilarious! I'v even heard her screaming back at the phone that she has lost some weight hehe too bad khala...that phone cant hear u! LoLzzz

which sin outta the 7 makes me ...'me'!!

2006-07-28T00:51:00.000-07:00

Greed:	Medium
Gluttony:	Medium
Wrath:	Medium
Sloth:	High
Envy:	Medium
Lust:	Very Low
Pride:	High

Take the Seven Deadly Sins Quiz

there now....im a sloth (or am i sloth-y? duno how that word is used grammatically)..have too much pride..low on gluttony? i thought i was a foodie!..all others r fine too..pretty much spot on hmmm i been honest on the test :D no cheating at all

cos yer Moslem!!

2006-07-27T16:03:00.000-07:00

Theres scorching heat everywhere but most places in CA have broken/tied records of heatwaves! Its been 11 straight days of temperatures soaring in triple figures...

Pretty obviously, such temperatures had my sis in a bad mad mood since she has to pick and drop the youngest one from school daily.So, when she woke me up at noon on tuesday, i thought she wanted me to give her company through the boring ride and mumbled something about being tired,feeling sick and to grab a couple of pizzas from Safeway cos i cannot stand the heat in the kitchen.And, then i pulled the covers back on my face to go back to sleep but she yanked them back and burst into tears saying that theres something horrbile wrong with the van's windshield and needs help....okay i said and got up with a sigh.The heat that struck the face as soon as i stepped outside was a shocker but even more so was the condition of the van :S someone had actually thrown buckets full of glue (or something like glue) on it and the heat had dried it up making matters worse. So while she came back inside to grab a sponge brush and liquid soap, i filled up jugs of water to make that stuff icky sticky and easy to remove...

A good 37 visits n jugfuls of water it took to wash that stuff out. A total hour wasted while my bro had to wait outside in the heat waiting for someone to pick him up. Aching hands, massive sweating and wondering who did all this and why, we went off to pick him up grab the pizza and b home asap.

As v got off, v got the answer to the WHY! there was a paper stuck to the side of the license plate :

CUZ YER MOSLEM

V r hurt by who so ever did this because v live here peacfully and abide by all rules n believe ourselves equal to all fellow Americans no matter which race, color or religion they belong to! Such prejudice is extremely offensive against all Moslems everywhere and v had never assumed that v would become another victim to such hatred against Muslims in the US.

As to how they knew v r Muslims....heres a clue to what type of questions my sis gets asked during her day @ the Sunrise Mall :

the TrUtH unfolds...!

2006-07-25T00:32:00.000-07:00

THE COFFEE TEST!!

You Are a Soy Latte

At your best, you are: free spirited, down to earth, and relaxed
At your worst, you are: dogmatic and picky
You drink coffee when: you need a pick me up, and green tea isn't cutting it
Your caffeine addiction level: medium

comments : a SOY latte? for pete's sake! i dont even know wat that stuff tastes like duhhh! n nooooooooooo my caffeine addiction is not medium! i need a cup of tea ..anyone out there listening to me?? oh, the free spirit stuff sounds sweet hei na :D now thats moi!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
AM I MORE CAT OR DOG?

You Are: 60% Dog, 40% Cat

You are a nice blend of cat and dog.You're playful but not too needy. And you're friendly but careful.And while you have your moody moments, you're too happy to stay upset for long.

warning : Donot ask why i did this test! Guess!! yaaaaaaa STILL no tea :S

comments : yayyyyyy im happy with the outcome :) im shwweeeeeeeeeeet meowwwwww lols

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
HOW BRUTALLY HONEST AM I?

You Are 36% Brutally Honest

Honesty is nice, but only when it's convenient. You rather be nice than honest.You figure it's important to be honest about the big stuff, but little lies never hurt anyone!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WHAT NUMBER AM I?

You Are 4: The Individualist

You are sensitive and intuitive, with others and yourself.
You are creative and dreamy... plus dramatic and unpredictable.
You're emotionally honest, real, and easily hurt.
Totally expressive, others always know exactly how you feel.

comments : that one..has made my day and dare i say => its true muahahaha *im being all devil now:D*